Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Unspoken Thoughts

Girl meets boy, Boy meets girl, they fall in love and live happily ever after..Classic, cliche tale right? If only it had been that simple in my case...the past 4 1/2 years would have drastically been altered.

If we hadn't been so stupid and thick headed, the obstacles that face us now wouldn't even be in existence...but then again, we were barely 16, so the odds of us NOT being stupid and thick headed aren't that good.

Our timing has never been right, not once in that 4 1/2 years; why should we think this time will be any different? He's come and gone a million times it seems, and one or the other of us has been tangled up or tied down to someone else. He's planning yet another visit, and it seems like the time is finally ours...but I'm starting to wonder if thats really what I want.

The saying, "Good things come to those who wait" keeps replaying over and over in my head lately..well hell, I've definitely been waiting long enough..but, somehow it just seems like this is it, my last chance, my ending. If I take this chance, I know the ending to my story. If I don't take this window of opportunity, if I'm not ready, well it be closed to me forever?

March 4, 2010

For today…(Thursday, March 4, 2010) Its 1am and I'm wide awake

Outside my window…the world is still and misleadingly at peace

I am thinking…I'm slowly regaining my old self..but something deep inside of me keeps trying to tug me back to the darker side, the impostor Jordin left behind

From the learning room…Bats don't suck blood, they lap it up with their tongues

I am thankful for....tough love, mistakes that have helped me realize so many important things about myself and life, my family and Lexibear

From the kitchen…the kitchen is currently uninhabited

I am wearing…shorts and the top half to my surgical scrubs

I am creating…a journal documenting my life from here on out..its a work in progress

I am going…to bed shortly

I am reading...surprisingly, nothing at the moment

I am hoping…I keep my act together and not waste the second chance I've been given

I am hearing…"Bigger" by the Backstreet boys

Around the house…its chaotic lately